Memories and Dreams
|A Coney Island beach day with Sophie|
I make plans to learn how to read music, practice my violin again, and go to grad school; but I almost always seem to wind up at home during my free time, planning and not doing. I'm hard on myself and always find time to remind myself that I'm not doing anything substantial with my life.
However, when I'm old and sitting on my huge porch in a rocking chair drinking sweet tea or lemonade and eating Biscoff cookies, I'm not going to remember crying because of him or the nights I stayed home and wallowed in self pity. I'm going to remember making bad decisions on a Friday night with my new Romanian downstairs neighbor because he asked what I was doing later and I didn't have a good response. I'm going to remember that time I vomited on my favorite area rug after too many Halloween drinks and ended up throwing it away out of laziness and shame.
|A rare day of "doing" in DC|
I want to remember the books I've read, the people I've met, the animals I've pet, the mountains I've climbed, the trails I've hiked, and the men I've loved. I want to show my future kids my house in Daphne, Alabama and blow their minds with the unimaginable beauty that is our expansive yard with the gully in the back.
There's still so much I want. I want to travel to other continents and feel a different land mass move beneath my feet. I want to see western America. I want to drive and fly and sail. I want to explore and learn and dream and accomplish great things. But it's important for me to remember that I've already done things, too. I have accomplished things, and even though I don't feel they're great, these memories that I've made are what I'm going to remember when I'm sitting on that porch.